Something I’m grappling with at the moment is letting go of anger. Not just any anger… 12 years worth of festering, eating away at you from the inside, destructive kind of anger, that I have finally decided it’s time to let go of…
Having lived with breathing problems and panic attacks over the last 2 years, if there’s one thing I’ve learnt – it’s that I have to deal with any frustration, anxiety, or bad feelings as they come, so they don’t start to fester and eat away at me slowly from the inside.
The longer I worry or dwell on any bad thoughts, the worse they seem to get.
Anger: an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
So I’ve decided to try something different.
Any time the suffocating feeling in my chest starts to return, I do the following:
- Get it out
One of the reasons I started this blog was to help others, the other was to help myself by writing down how I was feeling, just to get it out of my head.
Writing really is therapeutic.
If I’m really angry with someone but don’t know if I want to confront them about it, sometimes I’ll write them a letter with everything I want to say, and then later decide if I still want to say it. At least then it is outside of my head.
I’m the kind of person who lives in my head a lot, and often find that once I write down how I’m feeling, or what I’m thinking, it is never as bad as I thought.
- Find something that makes you happy
I absolutely love music and you can often tell what kind of mood I’m in by what I’m listening to.
I’ve created a ‘happy’ playlist, and an ‘inspiring’ playlist to help pick me up when I’m not feeling the best.
I also love animals, so just being around them can instantly make me smile.
- Replace any bad thoughts in your head with positive ones
I have to actually boss my brain – tell myself that I am in control of what goes on inside my head.
Don’t even approach bad thoughts.
Don’t try to rationalize them.
Don’t even think about them.
And definitely don’t dwell on them.
Any of the above is a passive reaction to the negative thought, hence making you feel the negative feelings that follow, which doesn’t help at all. So, replace the bad thought on the spot.
- Surround yourself with good people
Hanging out with good friends or family who cheer me up is one of my favourite things to do when I’m upset.
I’m the kind of person that will always be there whenever someone needs to vent, and having people that will do the same for me in my life is truly one of the things I am most thankful for.
- Focus on what you want in your life
I want to be successful.
I want the world to be better because I was here.
I want to make a difference in people’s lives.
When I think about what really drives me and what I’ve been put on this earth to do, I get really motivated and all the other bullshit seems to become irrelevant.
At the end of the day, everyone has stuff to deal with.
We all have times when life gets difficult and we don’t understand why.
But when this happens, just breathe, and remember it’s not the end of the world.
Things will get better – I promise.